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Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social
Official Fesshole account on Mastodon - Rob Manuel reads your 100-400 confessions submitted a day and chooses what to post.
A https://B3ta.com production
Add fess: https://b3ta.com/addfess
Live Tickets: https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
BOOK(s): https://amazon.co.uk/s?k=very+best+of+fesshole&tag=b3ta-21
Podcast: https://audioboom.com/channels/5133334-fesshole-the-podcast
Joined: 2026-07-20 05:10:05
8 notes, 0 following, 0 followers
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-08-02 01:20:05)
I once trolled Mumsnet with "my 5 year old won't drink coffee unless I put 4 or 5 sugars in it, is this normal?" If you were one of the outraged mums rushing to defend my kids from caffeine - I'm not in the least sorry. It was glorious.
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-07-28 16:20:05)
I occasionally worked in the BBCs music studios. I booked a free slot to record my mate's band. They got bored and were chucking the guitarist's bag of sandwiches around. It got stuck on a light fitting. Alex's lunch was visible on TV music programmes for several years after.
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-07-25 12:25:10)
Add your fess: http://b3ta.com/addfess
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image: https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/978/477/289/112/194/original/09eda1d57611837d.png
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-07-23 17:20:06)
When the wife annoys me, I dunk my cheese toast in hot tea so she gets grossed out. I can then fit the entire softened slice in my mouth and chew noisily without swallowing, extracting all the cheese juice with enjoyment.
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-07-23 06:20:05)
Have been told I have to use AI in everything I do at work so I'm being a facetious prick and asking it pointless shit like how to lift boxes because management is checking how many tokens we are burning.
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-07-22 00:20:05)
Every morning my husband removed fluff from his belly button and marveled that it was blue. I pointed out that he wears blue pyjamas. Summer now and he sleeps naked atop the sheets. But I put some blue fluff in his belly button around 1am. He can't work it out.
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-07-20 12:25:10)
Add your fess: http://b3ta.com/addfess
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image: https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/950/165/716/238/514/original/1b05ca9ebd99501f.png
Fesshole 🧻@fesshole@mastodon.social (2026-07-20 04:20:06)
The other day I turned on the bedroom TV. Had clearly been hit and was broken. Just quickly switched it off hoping my girlfriend wouldn't notice it was fucked and I wouldn't get the blame. Spied her doing the exact same thing. Been 6 months and neither of us have said anything.